Why can’t I ever be happy?

I wish I didn’t have to be the diva to break this news to you because I know it’s something you probably aren’t going to be delighted to hear, but whether or not you are happy on a day-to-day basis is entirely up to you. How do I know? Well, for one thing, I’ve spent a large portion of my life letting others and their behavior towards me determine whether I was happy or not. And, you know what?  What I came to see was that I was never going to be anything but miserable until I understood this principle: happiness is a personal choice. Only you can make it.

Much of the time I find that people are frequently inconsiderate and rarely care how their actions affect other people. The “Looking out for #1 mentality” (see Robert Ringer’s best-selling book) has become the attitude du jour and it’s becoming more and more unusual to find someone who has a lot of compassion for other people. Maybe this sounds like a cyncial vantage point on my part, but, if I hadn’t subscribed to it at some point, I would continue to have unrealistic expectations. And, even more tragically, I would continue to give others the power to make me happy. . . or, as the case may be (and, I must admit, often has been) very unhappy.

If you think that I am always on top of the world and ready to take on any obstacle that comes way simply because I’m your personal Success Diva, you’re wrong. Hey, I have days that are tough to get through, too. In fact, you and I probably experience a lot of the same feelings on a daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly basis. It isn’t easy to survive this thing that we call life. Yet to just survive is to not really live. To survive is to merely continue existing. Don’t you find yourself looking around sometimes and thinking to yourself, “There must be more to life than this.” Well, there is. Happiness doesn’t have to be optional. You can make it something you experience several times each and every day. No, you’re not going to always feel happy. I would be lying to you if I told you that was possible. And remember, your Success Diva is nothing if not 100% honest with you at all times!  However, happiness doesn’t have to be something that you only experience once in a blue moon. . .or every Christmas season when half the world is in a festive spirit and everybody feels like celebrating. You don’t even have to be in love to be happy.  What you are going to have to be is in control of yourself, your emotions, and your reactions to other people. What you may have to remind yourself of is that when someone else’s behavior makes you miserable, you are actually giving that person power over your life. Now I know you don’t want to do that because you’re at this blog, which means deep down inside, even if you’re not yet fully aware of it, you are completely committed to taking ownership of your life.

Here’s a little something about me that many people who know me well are unaware of. Sundays have always been the most difficult day of the week for me. Some people regard them as a day of peace and rest, and I wish I could see them in this light. But no matter what the weather is like, the sky is overcast in my corner of the world whenever Sunday comes around. I suspect that many of us have certain days of the week that are harder than others as well as certain months and seasons that affect us either positively or negatively. It might not be a bad idea to keep track of the days, months, and seasons that affect you strongly on an emotional level. That way you would at least  be prepared for those times when having an optimistic outlook may be a bit of a challenge. I say, prepare all you can. Preparation is a preventive measure and something that anybody interested in creating the life they want knows is an important strategy. After all, if Opportunity comes knocking at your door, how are you going to make use of it if you aren’t at least somewhat prepared for its arrival? If you won the lottery tomorrow, how would you spend the money? Do you know? Would you invest it or spend it with wild abandon? Would you spend it mostlyon things that you want or would you spend a significant portion (or at least some of it)  on gifts for friends and/or  loved ones? Would you donate any of the money you won to charity? Well, in a way, life is a little bit like a lottery. You never know when your number is going to come up. For all you know, the career opportunity that you’ve always wanted will come your way tomorrow. . .or, if you’re single, maybe you’ll meet the man or woman of your dreams. There’s really just no way to predict what your life will be like tomorrow, next week, or next year. But I do know one thing: when you make the choice to be happy regardless of what is going on in your life and/or what other people say and do, you have a much greater chance of being prepared for anything that comes your way, whether it be good or bad. There are so many things that we really don’t have any control over in life that it’s nice to add one more thing to our list of things that we do have power over. “But you can’t just decide to be happy and expect it to happen,” you say. I agree. However, you have to be willing to at least accept the idea that you have the power to choose to be happy, whether you make that choice or not. The decision really is yours. In spite of how it may seem, I have to make a conscious decision to be happy each and every day. Don’t be shocked. Success Divas are only human, even if they do often seem to have their lives totally pulled together.  So, no more excuses as far as you go, fellow success seeker! If I can make the choice to be happy every day, so can you. It may seem difficult at first, but pretty soon you will find that it gives you an incredible feeling of self-empowerment. What could be more astounding than a happy person in a world that is as chaotic and dysfunctional as ours? Let’s face it. . .everybody is going to start wondering what your little secret it. And I know I can trust you to tell them about your sassy and smart Success Diva because you’re one of those persons who is wise enough to realize that there’s enough success to go around!


Until later!

Your Success Diva



  1. Gerrard Muys said,

    June 30, 2009 at 4:00 pm

    Alexis-is Lothario from Flork-hi hun……..goodness, you’d have a field day with me(am deeply cynical)

  2. successdiva said,

    July 1, 2009 at 4:04 am

    Gerrard, I am delighted to see you! Thanks ever so much for dropping by. As for being a cynic. . .well, who knows? I might just reform you yet. I am a Diva of Success, after all ;). And even if you haven’t any desire to change your cynical views, I trust you’ll at least enjoy reading my blog.

    ~Alexis aka The Success Diva

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