Believe in yourself!

believe135 (flower)Many people have the erroneous idea that faith must be in some way inevitably connected with religion. However, I have never thought that this was necessarily the case. True, it can help in times of immense turmoil to imagine that the universe is guided by a Divine Force, whether we call that force God, the Creator, or something entirely different. At the same time, there is the unshakable sense of self-assurance that I feel those who succeed in life never quite lose sight of–and who can deny that this, too, is a type of faith?

Norman Vincent Peale, the preacher, speaker and self-improvement author extraordinaire who first brought the concept of “positive thinking” to the forefront of society, believed that the most important seed we must plant in ourselves is the seed of self-worth. I think our world is so focused on outward appearances and on the superficialities of life that many people don’t even know what they should base their self-worth on. If their sense of value comes from their appearance, what do they do when they start to see the first signs of aging on their face? Does their self-worth suddenly plummet? And, if so, is there any validity behind their feeling they are less valuable than they once were? You can pick up fashion magazines or newspapers or turn on the television, and you see impossibly gorgeous models, both male and female, advertising everything from perfume and shampoo to blue jeans and designer duds. After awhile, you cannot help but wonder, “Is how I look truly the most important thing?”

This is where a personal “vision” comes into play. I have heard people scoff at the idea of a “mission statement”, and, perhaps, it does sound like too grandiose a term to describe a sentence or two summing up what a person wants to accomplish in his or her life. The irony is, the people who roll their eyes in amusement or smile smugly at such terms are the very people who don’t honestly have a clear-cut direction for their life. They are those who drift aimlessly, like boats which glide across the ocean, allowing themselves to be tumbled about by the waves. They are the people who swim but never make it up to the diving board. Such people may have moments in which they occasionally accomplish something significant, but, with no clearly defined plan, how can they ever use even a fraction of their innate potential?

Truthfully, I have never enjoyed writing down goals. In fact, I find it downright tedious! But, like the treadmill some of you get on at the gym, I write down goals because they  help me achieve my objectives–not because they bring me any momentary gratification. How many times do you go to the grocery store without having made some sort of shopping list, even if all you’ve done is scribble down a handful of items you desperately need? Well, is a trip to the grocery store that much more important than your life? Even though there may not seem to be a logical explanation for this, there is something about writing down a goal or plan that turns it into a reality for your subconscious mind. The crucial part of this strategy is that your goal or plan must be entirely your own. That is, you must let go of everyone else’s expectations of you.

I am currently re-reading my friend and mentor Denis Waitley’s incomparable book, Seeds of Greatness, and I am struck yet again by the story he shares about trying to live out his father’s vision for his life. Like so many parents who mean well, yet do not understand the importance of their children making their own path in life, Denis’ father encouraged him to go to the United States Naval Academy in Annapolis, Maryland. Knowing Denis both from his writing and through my friendship with him, I fully perceive that his spirit is too poetic and creative for him to experience total fulfillment in fields such as mechanical engineering and marine engineering. And, even though Denis did graduate from the Naval Academy and enjoyed a nine-year career as a naval aviator, he was never at home in that profession. However, like those who always manage to find the positive aspect of those sets of circumstances that don’t turn out precisely the way they want, Denis credits being a naval aviator with teaching him an incalculable amount of self-discipline, in addition to the invaluable importance of goal-setting and teamwork.

How many of us would have looked upon those nine years as being wasted? I must confess, it took me a few years to fully cherish the benefits I gained from all the years I dedicated to the goal of one day being a world-renowned concert violinist–a career which never became an actuality. I had to fight the impulse not to consider the largest part of my life as having been wasted. Although I read about such remarkable women as actresses Jane Seymour and Charlize Theron, both of whom began as dancers only to be swept into acting because of an injury, I still found it hard to stomach the idea that there could have been a purpose in my having worked so hard to design, create, and shape a career that was cut short by lupus. There were moments in which I somewhat cynically thought, “Sure, it sounds good to say that everything has a purpose. But isn’t that just what we want to think?” If you ever have had moments like that, you know that they are generally accompanied by a feeling of despair, hopelessness, and diminished self-worth. Why?  Well, I think that all of us want to believe that the things that happen in our lives have a purpose behind them, even if we don’t admit it.

Once again, I will reiterate that the word “purpose” has nothing to do with religion. It can incorporate God, for those who do believe in Him like me, but it can also be that inner sense that you have a role to play in the universe–a role that only you can perform. Shakespeare once said, in his play All’s Well that Ends Well that all the world is a stage, and all of us are merely actors on it. To a certain extent, I think Shakespeare was right in comparing the universe to a stage. And in drawing on this comparison, you can look upon your life as being a specific part in a production that the world is staging. It is a part that no understudy will ever be able to take over, even on the days when you don’t feel like getting out of bed or when you feel like everything is going wrong. It’s also a part that you cannot walk away from, no matter how badly you may sometimes want to.

So, what are you going to do? If you were a bird or an angel, would you clip your wings, or would you use them to enable you to fly? The potential you have within you is as miraculous as the wings on a bird or a butterfly. . . or the aura around a celestial being. I’m not certain that anyone has ever expressed the remarkable capabilities of the human spirit more aptly than Thomas Edison when he said: “If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves.” The reason why we so rarely astound ourselves is because we have so little faith in our own unique potential. We allow the doubts we have about ourselves and the skeptical comments others make about our endeavors to cloud our vision. Instead of looking through a glass that shows us what we can do, we’re actually looking through a glass that shows us what other people think we can or cannot do. And, if we’re not doing that, we’re looking at a reflection of ourselves that only gives us a close-up of our flaws and our failures.  After awhile, we will experience a sense of fear about even trying to do something because our conscious reminds us of all the times we’ve failed in the past.

It’s this sense of fear I speak of that makes faith so important. You may still be at a point in your life where you think that the fear you feel when you’re taking a risk or striving towards a goal will somehow magically evaporate. Well, guess what? That fear will only get stronger if you’re waiting for it to go away. It’s kind of like thinking that the stack of dirty dishes in your kitchen sink is going to diminish if you leave it there long enough. Unless you have a fairy godmother somewhere in your midst, you or someone else will have to wash and dry all those dishes. Similarly, you are going to have overcome your fear at some point, whether you want to or not. Because a more powerful emotion is often the only thing that can diminish or eradicate a weaker emotion, the best way to combat fear is through faith.  You don’t have to complete your vision in your mind of what you want your life to be like–just start with a few pieces of the puzzle. Like an architect building a cathedral, you will soon see that patience and perseverance will do more for you than any momentary bursts of exuberance. I have had many people tell me that patience is what they find to be the hardest virtue to learn. Yet, when you remove patience from your stack of playing cards, you will find that you are trying to win a game with an incomplete deck.

Perhaps, having a chronic illness has forced me to learn the importance of patience. Who knows? I do think that anyone can learn the art of patience, though. It is when you become completely aware of what a difference patience can make in the quality and substance of your accomplishments that you begin to work towards mastering it. Faith and patience actually go hand in hand, too–for we must often have faith about things that have not yet happened. When we take a trip by airplane, we usually have faith that we’ll have a safe journey, just as we have confidence that we’ll get up the next morning when we go to sleep at night. If your belief system has been grounded in fear, it won’t be easy to change it. But, I have often found that what we must work hardest for is that which is most worth our achieving.

The psychologist and author William James summed it up well when he said, “To perceive the world differently, we must be willing to change our belief system, let the past slip away, expand our sense of now, and dissolve the fear in our minds.” Even if the fear is never completely gone, it can become so diluted by the level and strength of our faith that it will lose any power it has over us and our lives. That is when the forces of the universe, whether we believe in a Creator or not, begin to somehow work together to help us achieve our aims. Whether you call it a miracle or simply the way the world works is up to you. But, I challenge you to start replacing fear with faith for the next month and to observe how your life begins to change. See whether or not those obstacles you imagine to be mountain peaks are really molehills in disguise. . .and whether or not that setback that you thought was permanent might not pave the way for an undiscovered opportunity. Although being realistic about what’s possible is always important, we do sometimes have to look at what can be instead of what is.

May you live each moment of today with courage, passion, enthusiasm, and faith! Make each moment count!

Until soon,

Your Success Diva

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This message and all written material at the Success Diva pages is written by Alexis Wingate. All rights are reserved. (C) Copyright by Alexis Wingate. The Success Diva

Amelia Earhart: Flying High

amelia1There have been few women who have made as much of an impact on history as the legendary aviator and author, Amelia Earhart. She was born Amelia Mary Earhart in Atchison, Kansas, on July 24, 1897. Amelia’s mother, Amy, did not believe in raising either Amelia or Amelia’s sister, Grace Muriel Earhart, to be “nice little girls”. Rather than playing with dolls, both children enjoyed hunting rats, climbing trees, and “rough-and-tumble” play. Growing up, Amelia also exhibited a large interest in reading, recalling later that she spent countless hours in the vast family library. Although Amelia experienced a tremendous amount of unhappiness growing up, she always had a tendency to focus her sights on women who had been successful in their chosen fields. In fact, she kept a scrapbook filled with photos of women who  inspired her. However, in one of her school yearbooks, she was described as “A.E.—the girl who walks in brown alone.”

 

After Amelia visited her sister in 1917, and she saw the wounded soldiers returning from taking part in the disastrous World War I, Amelia Earhart decided to train to be a nurse’s aide for the Red Cross. A year later, she developed health problems resulting from her arduous work at the Spandina Military Hospital during the Spanish Flu Epidemic. In November of 1918, Amelia was hospitalized for pneumonia. At this same time in her life, she also developed maxillary sinusitis, which ended up affecting her immensely in her later years.

Amelia clearly did not perceive what her life’s purpose was until she had explored other avenues. In 1919, she signed up at Columbia University to pursue a course in medical studies. However, destiny intervened. Not long after she returned to California, to live once again with her parents, Amelia and her father visited an airfield where she was given a free ride in a airplane by air racer, Frank Hawkes. Earhart said later, “By the time I was two or three hundred feet off the ground, I knew I had to fly.” Earhart was a plucky lady who possessed the kind of determination that it takes to get to the top of your chosen profession. She was willing to dedicate herself to her career, even though she knew there would be plenty of opposition she would be compelled to face. Earhart cut her hair short, donned a worn leather jacket, and bought her own bright yellow Kinner Airster biplane, which she nicknamed “The Canary”. When she received her pilot license on May 15, 1923, Earhart was only the 16th woman to accomplish this feat. By 1927, she had managed to accumulate over 500 miles of solo flying. One year later, Earhart gained notoriety by becoming the first woman to fly solo across North America and back. In spite of having her share of detractors, Earhart was becoming a celebrity. She was hailed as “The Queen of the Air”, and many magazines and newspapers began referring to her as “Lady Lindy”, noting her resemblance to famed aviator, Charles Lindbergh. She began promoting and endorsing various products, and stores like Macy’s even sold a line of clothing that was supposed to mimic Earhart’s sleek, practical, yet feminine style.

amelia2In keeping with her lack of conformity in other areas of her life, Earhart also had radical ideas about marriage.  Her husband, George P. Putnam, proposed to her six times before she actually agreed to accept him, and, when describing her marriage, Earhart referred to it as a “partnership” with “dual control”. The wedding itself took place on February 7, 1931, and there wasn’t a honeymoon.

Earhart made several solo flights before her planned world flight in 1937. After a failed attempt to make this flight, a second attempt began on June 1 of that year, when Earhart and her navigator, Fred Noonan, left Miami, Florida, finally arriving in Lae, New Guinea, on June 29. It was on July 2, 1937, that Earhart took off from Lae, and, at approximately 8:43 that morning, Earhart transmitted her last known broadcast. There has been an immense amount of speculation as to what happened to Earhart and her plane. An aura of mystery surrounds the event, and, even to this day, Earhart’s disappearance remains one of the most interesting missing person cases.

hilary1Earhart is going to be portrayed by the two-time Oscar-winning actress, Hilary Swank, in a new biopic film about the remarkable aviator. Might Swank garner yet another Oscar for her depiction of this inspirational dame?

To read more about Amelia Earhart, her life, and her adventures, don’t miss checking out this remarkable site paying tribute to her: http://www.ameliaearhart.com/

 

Also, you can watch a portion of a documentary film on Amelia Earhart, entitled “Where’s Amelia Earhart?” by going  here:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUR8r06EtVE

 

 

 

(photos: Amelia Earhart, a classic headshot of the striking lady; Earhart, looking sassy and self-assured; actress Hilary Swank, who will be portraying Earhart in a new biopic film)

 

This page and all written material at The Success Diva pages is written by Alexis Wingate. All rights are reserved. (C) Copyright by Alexis Wingate. The Success Diva